KICKING ASS

Just as I thought there are 2 more long rides left, the head coach of the team sent out an email today saying the Montauk team will have 2 more additional rides! So yippie to 4 more long rides for the weekend! I was actually feeling a bit sad that it will be over soon. This whole event is not only about raising money to a good cause, but came to a realization that we as individuals can really make a difference! I can't say I did a lot for LLS, but the retrospect. This event in terms of both fundraising and the physical training made me push myself beyond what I usually thought was the limit.

Prime example: the first long ride that I did after I came back from my vacation. We were riding up this hill (which now I say a little slope). I couldn't do it, and I stopped and fell off my bike. I simply gave up thinking it was just too hard. Then the remaining day, I fell another time going up another hill because we got lost. Then fell again toward the end, because in my head I said "That's it. No more! I'm tire and I'll just push my bike up the hill". 3 falls that day thinking I can't ride anymore up the hills.

Later on 2 weekends later, up a constant slope up the 9W. It was a long slope! I calm myself down, thinking I need to get into a rhythm to do this without falling. First thing came to mind was chanting "nam-myoho-renge-kyo". **NOTE: I don't usually get all religious and thinking chanting will get everything solve, but chanting "nam-myoho-renge-kyo" is very rhythmic in 6 counts which works well cycling up hill** So basically chanting put me in a zone that I'll just pedal, pedal and pedal. In the end, I finished the 50miles ride without falling and conquer all the hills.

Then last weekend: up the Bear Mountain was not easy but it wasn't hard either. I pushed myself to go faster than I usually ride and really made an effort. I sweated, I was sore the next day, but I felt good! This was the feeling that I rarely encounter in my little shell. I want the feeling of kicking butts and feeling great, feel like I get shit done and accomplish my goals!

So lately, I really try to drop all of my negative bullshit and get the fire ball rolling! I don't usually do stuff without knowing the expected result, which most of the time prevents me from moving forward. I am afraid of being turn down and simply don't have thick enough skin to take anything. I simply take things personal when it's professional. So I said to myself, "Dude get over it! You really need to snap out of it, or you'll never progress."

Trippy thing: the next day on the subway as I was on my way to an interview I read this in Living Buddhism:

Sometimes our challenges seem so hard that we might feel as though there's no way to succeed. Giving up often seems the easier option. But on certain thing about giving up is that it guarantees failure. Trying hard may not guarantee success, but it's guaranteed that success won't come without trying. In a way, giving up is the only real failure. Consistent effort brings consistent growth.

So for the rest of this week, I picked "myself" up and snapped out of it. I pushed myself to cold call architects and show my portfolio. Because if I don't show my book and "fail", I will never learn how to "sell" my work. Result: 1 interview and 1 drop-off. Wish me luck!

THE RIDE

Exactly one more month left! I'm actually nervous about flat roads. What the hell is going on?! So this weekend will be the longest ride because we're doing a 100km ride in Connecticut. I'll charge up the camera and take some pictures of the pit stop and the food stand. Now that I think about it, it should be an easy ride. There are pit stop every 20 miles, filled with food and drinks. That should motivate everyone to ride faster!

THANK YOU

• WMC aka OH - thank you for all your help in everything: from driving me to my fundraising events to hanging out at the "flop" wii tournament to donating! wait until this ride over, it's your turn to have me on weekend rides =P